On many networking sites, the goal seems to be to collect as many contacts as you can, almost like collecting charms for a bracelet. I've even seen one site give away a free ipod to the person who could add the most contacts in a week. But on Multiply, there's a different mentality (encouraged by the staff and supported by many users -- like me). The goal here is to attempt to mirror your real life world online.
In other words, your relationships here, the people you hang out with online, should reflect the relationships you have off line. Then, through your network, you can get to know other people in a natural way -- through your contacts: your friends and family. You might also meet people in groups. But again, that's a natural way to meet someone, like joining a club and gradually making friends over time as you attend meetings.
So when you're thinking of clicking that link to "Add as Contact" you might want to run a little test first. Imagine that you're not online, but sitting in your living room. You see someone walk down the sidewalk. Do you invite them inside your house to chill in the living room with you, or do you wave and let them go their way? If you know them well enough to let them into your house, then click away. That person would make a great contact. But if you're still at only a wave or a short chat about the weather level with a person, then wait awhile. Don't add them yet. Wait and see if you cross paths again -- if you're "natural" friends.
I've seen several people here on Multiply asking how to block contacts. Ironically, this is akin to inviting someone into your house, then calling the police over to lock them up for breaking and entering. My mother always told me not to talk to strangers. A natural second step is not to invite them into your house. Don't invite them into your Multiply "house" either. You don't make friends in the real world in a matter of seconds. Why act that way in the virtual world?
Multiply provides avenues to get to know people gradually and naturally. I encourage you to use them.
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Edit: 3 November 2007 -- More thoughts on Adding Contacts on Multiply
isn't the *point* of a social network to meet people? i think that's how a lot of people view adding contacts. but when you add a contact on multiply, you're adding to the number of messages that will show up on your message board. which means keeping up with a whole bunch more people than you probably can comfortably keep up with. and it's more likely that the people you really Do want to keep up with will have their posts drowned out by all the posts by people you only vaguely know.
if you want to connect with people that you don't really know, but you like them so far and want to get to know them better, create a group. you can add bunches of people in there, hang out with them, get to know them, and once you feel like you can trust them (and you want to keep up with them and their posts and you want them to keep up with yours) then you can add them as a contact. (the Y360 refugees group is a great example of this. there's a lot of hanging out and getting to know each other without anyone having to take that trust showing step of making people contacts.)
on other sites, (myspace comes immediately to mind, but there are many others like this as well) don't notify you when activity is taking place within your circle of contacts. so you can add hundreds and hundreds of people as contacts and it doesn't really affect your experience with the site (except that you look popular). however, if you except hundreds and hundreds of people as contacts here on multiply, you'll quickly be so overwhelmed with the posts on your message board that the board will essentially become useless.
multiply doesn't discourage you from hanging out with people and getting to know them. but they try to help you do it naturally either through affinity groups (the groups part of multiply) or through people that you already know and trust (your network).
they take privacy seriously and this is part of it. meeting people virtually is unsafe often because you can't verify that a person is who they say they are or that anything they say is in anyway true. but if you're getting to know someone through a friend, then your friend knows that person and can vouch for them. (yeah, i just saw jack yesterday and he really did break his leg while washing dishes. i signed his cast.) so even though you haven't met the person (jack in this case) you've had that person vouched for by someone you already trust. once you "hang out" online with jack, you might decide to trust him directly and add him as a contact. make sense?
the whole premise behind multiply is that other social networking sites are for putting all of your dirty laundry before the world. but multiply is specifically designed with the understanding that this is a place for you to connect with those you already know and trust. it's for connecting with friends and family.
in fact, here's the blurb from their front page (you can only see it when you're signed out. if you're signed in, then you'll end up at your message page instead.):
Multiply makes it easy to create, share and discuss your blog, photos, videos and music with more of the people you know, and less of the people you don't.
more of the people you know. less of the people you don't.
since you're adding contacts that are people you already know, or people you might have met through your network or a group that you've gotten to know over time, then you already have told multiply (by adding them as a contact) that you trust that person.
